don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
