We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
