HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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