I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
