a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
