happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize