Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
