jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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