when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
