life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize