I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
