are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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