i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
