nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
