I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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