Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize