Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
