just come out here and I will go home with you...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
