I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
