but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
