happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
