I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My vagina is officially offended.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
