Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize