he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
