I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
