So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
