is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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