If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
