Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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