on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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