Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize