So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
