we have officially lost it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
