I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize