i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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