It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
