Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
