I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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