I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
