my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My vagina is very pro this idea
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
