do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
