Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
