My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
