You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
