OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
