I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
