After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
