holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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