just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
