I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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