We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I AM VODKA MAN
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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