girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
