who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
