You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm always down for nudity.
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