Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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