when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
