So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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