Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize