ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
