we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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