I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
