no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
