How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
