Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
