Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
