you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
