i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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