dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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