I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Someone signed my nipple.
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