Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
