on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
A+ Viking dick
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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