i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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