If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
