i would punch a child for taco bell
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize