i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize