Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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