I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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