you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
